Friday, August 13, 2004

[transmission start]

thoughts: loneliness... aimless in NUS...

2 lectures. 4 hour break. wandering aimlessly around school. nobody to hang out with (ok fine, not entirely true. but true for some part). I've come to the conclusion (which most people know by now) that Man is a social animal, constantly seeking the need for company. Loneliness breeds potential for depression - especially if you're used to hanging out with people. and when you have no one to hang out with, you become like me - aimlessly wandering around school hoping you'll bump into one of your friends.

It's been said that everybody needs somebody. in romantic terms they believe everyone has someone for them... it is true, because what human beings naturally crave is companionship, community, interaction.... that kind of thing. that's why solitary confinement is such torture, to the point of driving some people mad (with no one else to interact with, they end up going into their own heads - eventually driving themselves insane. it's scary, but true. especially when you're in a pitch dark room)

i've yet to make new friends in NUS. only have the people from church, JC, NS and Secondary school to hang out with. even then i don't get to hang out with them all the time. i guess that's what orientation is for. but hopefully things will get better when tutorials start. really. because it's enough to drive a person to the point of manic depression. sure, in the opinion of some this is a sign of insecurity (or so they say), but i think it's a basic human need that has to be met (aha! application from social work module! ironical is it? depressed person probably in need of counselling taking social work?).

so, i don't know about you, but i'm sure hoping i get to know some other people soon. just that without tutorials, i know no one new within my lecture groups. that's sad... it's a frightening prospect to end up alone in a lecture... which proves a point of mine - that even with hundreds of thousands of people around you (ok maybe 3 to 4 hundred in a lecture group), you can still be very, very alone. and it is very, very scary.

till next time...

[transmission end]

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 6:38 PM
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