Saturday, March 26, 2005

[transmission start]

thought: Balance... and hatred

light vs darkness. right vs wrong. good vs evil. yes, the reality of life is that there are balances. for everything there is something equal and opposite (but i'm not saying i believe in that yin-yang stuff). but it's true. just that because we as humans aren't perfect that's why you can never quite get perfect balance (at individual level i mean).

human beings have equal propensity for both good and evil. the 'good' comes from God who in Himself is perfect. the evil comes from human imperfections and sin. for some reason, it's always too easy to do what's wrong rather than what's right.

"fear leads to anger. anger leads to hate. hate leads to the Dark Side." yes, a well-know phrase recognised by Star Wars fans and movie buffs everywhere. but i'd add something at the end - the Dark Side leads to the destruction of your soul.

they say you can't stay angry about something forever, which is true. but when the anger turns to hate, then it stays with you till you resolve it. and if you don't, it will consume you, destroying you from the inside, and you'll realise it's something that can be very scary when it manifests itself. it's not good enough to have an outlet of release, because that's only temporary. as most of you MIGHT know, i have 'issues' with my dad. but 'issues' is a mild way of putting it. i HATE him.*cue stunned silence* i hate him for what he's done, not just to me but to everyone. i cannot understand how it is possible that one man has such propensity for evil. that's an impossible reality (something that's real yet almost impossible to believe).

maybe you'd think it was 'spur of the moment' emotional thing that i'm pouring out now. but it's been going on for 22 years (slightly more actually. since my parents first got married). 22 years is a long time. but it's not spur of the moment when you can wake up in the morning angry at him because of the latest sh*t he came up with just to disrupt our lives. everything's settled you dumb f*ck. get out of our lives. you took mum's moneyand her stuff (ok, so it wasn't everything you took). why can't you just leave us alone. haven't you tortured mum enough since you first got married? HAVEN'T YOU?!!!!

i've always known i've had violent tendencies (probably inherented from that b*st*rd). because i can picture all sorts of scenarios between me and him. and they're not pretty. the only thing it shows is that i watch too much anime and tv *grin*

----Star Wars---
D: Chris, I am your father...
C: No you're not! i have no father...
*draws lightsaber and fights on rage. 'finishes' D ala Obi-Wan on Darth Maul in Episode 1 (chops him in half)*
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---Samurai X---
D: there's no way i'll give you guys peace...
C: it ends here...
*draws sword, yells and uses battousai's "9-headed dragon attack" which totally destroys D*
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---Full Metal Alchemist---
C: no more... never again...
*charges and explodes D ala Crimson alchemist (who's got transmutation circles tatooed on his palms)*
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so now that i've shocked most of you with these scenes, i guess you should know by now that there's more to the guy they call chris. and to everyone thinks 'Chris is such a nice guy'(most of the time anyway), well, this is the other side that no one sees (because it's always masked by depression). i've heard it been said before that "pray you will never have to fight a good man. because he'll kill you without a word" (cos when you fight bad people all they want to do is gloat at your weakness at their hands before killing you. so that gives you time to either escape or kill them yourself). well, let's map this over then. "Never face a nice guy who is angry. because the 'explosion' is unbelievable"

till next time...

[transmission end]

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 7:32 AM
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