Monday, April 04, 2005

[transmission start]

thoughts: keeping it going...

time (more like the lack of it) is always an issue. there's only so much available and so much to do. and invariably, when you make decisions and place your priorities, some things get left out. things you used to do, people you used to be close to and do things with just somehow get pushed out of your schedule. why? because of priorities. *curses at the pragmatism imbibed in singaporeans by the government*

pragmatism and practicality take away so much. so much of the stuff that people spend lifetimes to achieve - friendships, relationships and other intangible things which have immeasurable value. so why am i lamenting about this? because i wasn't there. or in some cases i just stopped being there because other things felt more important. and judging from how i spent my time, they were.

Yesterday i did something i hadn't done for a long time, for someone who meant a lot to me. i remember i used to do it more often. to talk more, to find out how things were going. and when they were bad, i tried to do something (when it was possible), even just something small. but for some reason that stopped (can't remember when. that's how bad it became). my only consolation is that i (kinda) started it again. but i hope this time it stays. you've been there for me when i needed you. there's a reason why you are what you are to me. i can't let that fade away.

Yesterday there was something i should've done. but i didn't. and i don't know why. have things really gotten so distant that i don't know what's going on with you? have i started caring less now that you've got someone else? that shouldn't be an excuse frankly. the only way i had an idea of what was going on was by reading your blog. yes a BLOG. has society come to this? that we hardly talk to each other and instead resort to reading people's online journals to tell us what's going on in their lives?

this is worrying. this is impersonal. this is how increased ability in communications creates the paradox of destroying the very thing it wants to promote. and there's little one can do. but to try and keep things going. it's going to take a lot of effort (no one said it'd be easy), but i'm going to try.

till next time...

[transmission end]

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 11:19 AM
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