Thursday, December 22, 2005

[transmission start]

thoughts: somehow it always boils down back to you doesn't it?

i should be happy. i really should. considering i did relatively well and that maybe (just maybe) i could do honours. and all that, all those dreams, all those ideas came crashing down. because of YOU... no one ^&$# else but you. it always seems to boil down back to you doesn't it? and they can't understand why i hate you so much. HAH.

if you hadn't done something to screw up our lives (again), mum would've have brought the %$^%# subject up, and it wouldn't end up having been steered in that direction. and i wouldn't be feeling like such a !%^#$ loser. 10 minutes you know? 10 goddamn $%^! minutes. for 10 #^%^ minutes i really thought it might be possible. possible to get 2nd upper. 2nd $#%! UPPER, not some 3rd class !$%^$# up shit.

they say people like to think well of others. #$%! BULLSHIT. its the mistakes and the errors, the BAD stuff that they remember the most. sure everyone remembers the great goals a striker scores. but everyone also remembers all the blunders every goalkeeper makes. for every spectacular save that a goalkeeper makes, people remember the 10s or even hundreds of blunders and errors that same goalkeeper has made. and sometimes it really isn't his fault. but what do people care? human nature is such that we search for any available scapegoat. for anyone to take the blame. for someone else to "take one for the team". HAH. that's plain $#%&^ bullshit.

they say the greatest gift is hope. sure, i agree. because hope gives people encouragement. gives people something to live for. and for those who really live day to day, hope is as important as any other daily need (if not more). but contrary to popular belief that hope springs eternal is pure bullshit.

the greatest hurt is the crushing of that same hope that you give. you dare people to dream. and when they dream something on the verge of the impossible, you tell them that it is. tell them its impossible and shoot them down. tell them its impossible, shoot them down and make them wish that they had never considered daring to dream in the first place. and that kills the hope. #!%&-ing KILLS it. and after that the person no longer dares to dream. and then that same person is ridiculed, insulted, scorned, blamed or whatever for not having any ambition. for not daring to dream. %^!&*-ing open your eyes, your ears and brain goddamit. who was the one that said it was impossible? not him.

till next time...

[transmission end]

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 11:16 PM
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