Thursday, March 01, 2007

[transmission start]

thoughts: guilt trip (of sorts)

you know its a sad day when you come back to a blog after 2 months, and the only thing you post is depressing stuff. its hard to be truthful, hard do be ambigious, and well, before i start, i don't want anyone to take it personally. i don't mean to offend anyone.

I hate it when i'm right. especially regarding that kind of thing. there's no satisfaction in being right, in being able to say "i told you so" (even if it is only to yourself). I don't know what to do. Seriously. Don't know if there's anything i CAN do.

But if i don't do anything about it, then that isn't good either. Some things shouldn't be allowed to happen. Not when they have an effect on other people. Especially other people you care about. Its not right. and it isn't fair.

I can only say that for whatever's happened, i've only got myself to blame. I should have known better, but when it comes to hindsight, everyone's a genius aren't they?

i know it sounds like i'm wallowing in self-pity. believe me, its more of frustration. frustration at ircumstances really. but more so frustration at myself. I've thought of things i could do, but they don't solve anything. only in the short term at most. and not only that, they hurt other people.

this sucks. i hate this feeling. i wish i could make everything right again. but life is never like that is it? never was, never will be.

till next time...

[transmission end]

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 6:53 PM
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