Wednesday, October 31, 2007

[transmission start]

thoughts: some things you can't run away from....

its been almost 4 long months since last posting on this blog. At times I felt like giving this thing up, and maybe i should have. or maybe not. we'll see.... but as usual, on to the post.

It started maybe with that movie Little Manhattan. Or actually, it was a little earlier than that, when i was doing my thing being there for J cos she needed someone who could understand (it just so happened that that person was me).

I remember how i thought to myself that one day when the time was right i would tell J that there's really no way to possibly run away from certain facts - simply because they make you what you are. Like how i can never change the fact that i am (and always will be) my father's son, much as i dislike him (and much as he dislikes me). Even if he disowned me that wouldn't change anything, simply because he is a part of me, and nothing can change that, no matter how much i try. And that was what i wanted to tell J, because i knew that was going through her head too.

Then there was that day i happened to catch Little Manhattan on cable. Its a weird movie of sorts, but rather insightful. and when i watched it, boy did some parts just hurt. They hit it where it hurt the most really, because i knew exactly what they were talking about. And the movie made me remember (and sometimes remembering isn't always the best thing). Especially for someone who remembers a lot, and plays things back in his head over and over.

And just like what i wanted to tell J about my dad, i realised that the same held true after watching the movie. That i just couldn't run away from that 1 simple fact, which i thought was rather well illustrated by a quote from the movie:

"Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It'll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can't ever shake. The truth is there's gonna be other girls out there. I mean, I hope, but I'm never gonna get another first love. That one's always gonna be her." - Gabe, from Little Manhattan

till next time...

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chr1s0ng put the word on the street at 11:45 PM
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